Brothers Will Be Brothers
by Darkfire75
Summary: AUish oneshot. Uchiha Itachi didn’t give chase unless it was absolutely necessary. And given the fact that his younger brother was now running around the house with his…ahem…unmentionables, it was indeed absolutely necessary. Enjoy the crack XD


_**Author's note: **__Before you read this story, please note that this is utter crack and an AU. I hate the ending here (I hate when I lose inspiration at the end) but guys, you have no idea how much this idea was haunting me. I was watching a movie this morning and it inspired me to write this. I'm not sure what the point of this is…it started off as just older sibling chasing younger sibling (cuz that totally happens with me and my little bro), but I kept trying to think of funny scenarios that could maybe happen. No, this has never happened to me, but I have chased my brother around before. It's fun :) Yes, I know both Itachi and Sasuke are horribly OOC, but dammit, let me have my fun :P_

_So I like to imagine that maybe in an AU world of Naruto that the Uchiha brothers are like normal siblings. They fight a lot and like to cause each other pain. I'm sure some of you will find this amusing. I was laughing quite a few times when writing it. It makes me sad cuz it'll never happen. I like writing Itachi and Sasuke like this cuz anything can happen. I'm not limited to keeping them in character because it's a cracktastic AU fanfic. Hell yeah! XD So yeah…hope you enjoy, even if it is pointless. _

_**Disclaimer: **__If I owned Naruto, the Uchiha brothers would act like this all the time. Plot? What is this plot you speak off? Crack all the way! XD _

* * *

It was a normal day at the Uchiha residence. Well, fairly normal. 

"SASUKE!! COME BACK HERE!!" Uchiha Itachi didn't give chase unless it was absolutely necessary. And given the fact that his younger brother was now running around the house with his…ahem…unmentionables, it was indeed absolutely necessary.

Sasuke gave a loud whoop, laughing his head off. Itachi would kill him when he caught him. He didn't care if his mother liked Sasuke. She'd get over it. He tripped over strewn clothes all over the house, wondering in the back of his mind how they got there. He could see his brother rounding a corner, nearly tripping himself.

"You're slow, nii-san!" he called.

Itachi was a man who kept his cool. He was a loving older brother who…oh fuck it. "SASUKE!!! WHEN I CATCH YOU YOU'RE DEAD!!"

Sasuke laughed harder, obviously finding immense amusement in making his brother go homicidal. "Mom'll kill you if you hurt me!" he said with a grin. He held Itachi's unmentionables higher up in the air and picked up speed. Itachi ignored him and forced his legs to move faster.

The result was him falling over the couch and landing on his face. "Fuck!" he cursed, getting up and glaring at his brother. Sasuke stuck his tongue out and sped away. "Would you please tell me what is so fascinating about my underwear that you had to take it?" he snarled suddenly.

"They have HEARTS!!" Sasuke shouted back.

Itachi's face burned with anger. "They were a GIFT!"

"Suuuuuure!"

"Sasuke, I'm serious. Give them back and I MIGHT go easy on you."

"Not happening!" Sasuke ducked for cover as Itachi crouched down and launched himself at him. Itachi went flying into the wall. "You'd suck as a ninja, nii-san!" Sasuke laughed. Itachi groaned in pain, holding his aching head.

Sasuke ran up the stairs and into his room. Itachi followed, still holding his head. He burst through the door just in time to see Sasuke crawling out the window with his underwear. He reached out to yank him back in, but Sasuke blew him a raspberry and dropped to the ground. "What the hell—?" he said, watching his brother sprint away across the lawn.

He heard the front door open and slam closed. Realizing that it was Sasuke, he rushed out of his brother's room and nearly jumped all the stairs to get to the first floor. Sure enough, Sasuke was running into the kitchen, still holding the heart underwear. Itachi needed a weapon. Something he could use to slow his brother down. A wet towel always did wonders. He grabbed a towel that was in the kitchen and ran it under the faucet quickly. He then held onto the soaked towel tightly and ran after Sasuke.

Unfortunately, all he managed to do was get everything in the house, except his brother, wet. He knew his parents would be angry when they got home. But that was the farthest thing from his mind at this point. All he wanted to do was get his underwear back. Sasuke was laughing at him again. Itachi threw the towel at his face and missed. Damn his brother for his fast reflexes. He knew he was acting irrationally, but dammit, his brother had his underwear!

Then a light bulb went off in his head. Tomatoes. Sasuke loved tomatoes. Grinning like a maniac, Itachi ran into the kitchen and grabbed all the tomatoes he could. "Hey Sasuke! I've got something for you!" he called.

"What is it?"

"Tomatoes!"

In seconds, Sasuke came into view, licking his lips at the thought of some juicy tomatoes. Itachi was ready. He flung the biggest tomato at Sasuke's face. It hit him dead on. Sasuke tripped and fell down. "Fuck you!" he snapped, wiping the juice off his face and getting to his feet. He ducked as Itachi started to throw more tomatoes at him. "You're wasting them all!" he cried, watching the tomatoes explode as they hit the walls.

"Oh get over it!" Itachi growled back.

"That's it, you're dead!"

"Aww, going to get revenge for your tomatoes?"

Sasuke pounced on him at that point, knocking them both to the floor. He then took the underwear and, smiling like crazy, he put it over Itachi's head. "There! You wanted them back and now you have them!" He got off his brother and ran away. Itachi was beyond pissed now. He sat up and tried to rip his underwear off his face. His brother was so dead.

As Sasuke was rounding a corner, he saw Itachi rip the underwear off his head and start stomping towards him. He let out a girly scream and turned around to run in the opposite direction. Itachi was too fast and grabbed his ankles, causing him to fall over onto his stomach. Sasuke groaned in pain. He turned over just in time to have Itachi sit on his abdomen and hold his arms down.

"You fucker!" Sasuke spat.

Itachi smirked. "Game's over, Sasuke."

"You killed all my tomatoes!"

"Is that all you care about?"

Sasuke pouted, which looked ridiculous given the fact that he was fifteen. "Dad's gonna kick your ass when he sees the house like this," he sneered. "You know he's gonna blame you."

Itachi's eyes widened slightly. "Dammit," he mumbled. Then he smiled and looked down at his brother. Sasuke winced. That was never a good smile.

Five minutes later found Sasuke cleaning up the house with his brother watching him closely, holding one last tomato in his hand. He had threatened to stomp it into the hardwood floor if Sasuke didn't obey him and clean the house before their parents got home. Sasuke was desperate to save the last tomato and was working fast. "You're the devil incarnate," he whimpered.

"No insults or it's bye-bye tomato."

Sasuke lower lip quivered and quickened his pace. When he was finished, Itachi grudgingly handed over the tomato and Sasuke literally stuffed it in his mouth. He grinned up at his brother, which looked creepy with his puffed out his cheeks. Just then the front door opened and their mother walked through, followed closely by their father.

Uchiha Mikoto took one look around the house, seeing it spotless, and was about to take off her shoes when she noticed her youngest son standing beside her oldest. His cheeks were puffed out. She blinked and walked over to them. Sasuke smiled sheepishly at her, spraying her with tomato juice. She frowned. "Sasuke, you're not supposed to have tomatoes before dinner," she scolded.

Sasuke gaped at her, forgetting that he still had the tomato in his mouth. The vegetable fell onto the floor. Itachi smirked. Their father walked past, shaking his head at Sasuke as though he were disappointed in him before following his wife into the kitchen. Sasuke made a pitiful sound and glared at his brother. "I hate you," he hissed.

"I know."

"Boys, where are all the tomatoes?" Mikoto suddenly asked.

Itachi and Sasuke looked at each other, nodded, and ran out the door, slamming it behind them.

* * *

_**Author's note: **Ugh, sucky ending. I wanted to make it funnier. This scene looks funny in my head but when it's written it's like "eeeeeeh". Oh well. I asked my lil bro for some help but all he said was to have Sasuke like trip over a chair or something. Sigh. Oh yeah, and I love both Itachi and Sasuke (Sasuke moreso), but I like to humiliate them. Can't you tell? hehe I'm sorry I keep posting all these weird oneshots, but I can't stop them. The ideas won't leave me alone. Bye for now!_


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